Great Minds Inspire Great Ideas


Despite the high humidity and crazy 97 degree heat, this past weekend was beyond fulfilling! The get-out-of-work-early-on-Fridays thing is still in full effect until September which is a nice treat. I promptly exited the business park at 4 PM and drove to the West Farms Mall which was a surprisingly short distance from the office.  I was a little nervous but excited to meet with another Paraguayan adoptee. My gut led me to park in the perfect parking spot. I drove right up to the closest spot near the door and it was not a handicap spot and empty! As soon as I entered the mall,  Lush Cosmetics was right there which was totally a sign!  I went in and purchased two bath bombs and two luxury bath melts. I then met with Sara and we headed to P.F Changs for a quick app and Margaritas. This girl and I totally are meant to be friends because she likes tequila as much as me and she’s Paraguayan! We spent some time getting to know each other and talking about our adoption, my idea for this start up and how our journey to Paraguay to find our birth families changed our lives. I was definitely put on the path to connect with Sara tonight. She will be a great ally with this passion project of mine.

I of course had to grab my free Godiva chocolate before I left and got two extra to split with Melissa. I then headed to Middletown which was about a 25 minute drive.

I arrived to Middletown and had a little bit of an issue finding a parking spot so I parked in the lot for like 2 bucks. I was second guessing this parking lot choice as I opened my car door and the heat hit my skin like a slap to the face. I had a long walk ahead of me and had to go to the bathroom so bad I thought I was going to have to pop a squat somewhere. Instead there was a little Spanish convenience store so I went in. The man began speaking to me in Spanish and I responded to his question, ” Bien y tu.” I politely asked if he had a bathroom and he brought me to the back. I never would have made it to Krust without wetting myself so I kindly thanked the man. We began talking and I told him I was from Paraguay. We continued our conversation in various forms of Spanglish. My Spanish teacher would be proud that I’m using what we learned last Tuesday during my session! I found out some interesting and crazy information about Carlos, the owner of Ecua Express in Middletown. Please support his business because his life is inspiring. I said, “adios” to Carlos and continued on my way to Krust.


I walked to Krust to indulge in a little pizza and Adult beverages with Mel. I chose a nice Margarita and she had an espresso martini. The place was pretty cool a very rustic industrial feel which was a chill atmosphere. It felt very much like a trendy little bar/restaurant you would find in Manhattan. We ordered a Smoked Gouda pizza which tasted a little bit like heaven and maybe the reason why I wasn’t a huge fan of the Meatball pizza. It just didn’t compare to the yumminess of the Smoked pie!

We chatted and caught up with each others lives because it has been a month since I saw her last. She is so graciously helping with the some graphics for my passion project which is going to be a BIG help! I have the best friends <insert envy here>! While we were gabbing away I told her about Carlos the Ecuadorian man I just met, which is why I was about ten minutes late meeting her. I also told her about Judy and the crazy words of wisdom she gave me during my recent green tea pedicure. The next idea that was put on the table I wasn’t expecting.

She proposed that I do a weekly Wednesday WOW segment on my blog and I accepted the challenge. She said because I meet people everywhere and sometimes in the oddest of ways it makes sense to not only capture these wise, crazy and inspiring stories for myself but to share all the epic advice with others.We finished the night with some vino and movies. We fell asleep snuggled up to each other on the couch and then called it a night.

wisdom

“You are only as wise as you are willing to grow, understand and teach.”- Amanda Doerr


Saturday was super productive. I worked on setting up my office, did yoga, gassed up and got my car washed by my fav guys at Optimo Car wash in Wallingford. I then headed down to Stratford to work a 90+ wine tasting! It was a successful tasting. I made a quick stop at the Home Goods for some stuff for my new office and headed home to eat and finally relax. Pete and I watched Fathers’ Day with Billy Crystal and Robin Williams (r.i.p Robin). It was a funny movie so make sure to check it out.


Sunday I headed to church, it was a good sermon about having faith that you can overcome obstacles.I left church feeling great and stopped quick at my new favorite spot, the CT Natural Food Mart. I had to go to Walmart to get skewers because the Natural Food Mart didn’t have any and I wanted to make my own kebabs.

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Pictured above: Right: Homemade Marinated Steak kebabs with yellow squash, green peppers, a red pepper from my garden and onions. Left top to bottom: Marinated Taco Chicken, BBQ Chicken and Buffalo Chicken.

Peter and I grilled and prepped lunches for the week prior to my parents arriving to talk wedding business. We accomplished a lot with hardly any disagreements and took a break to head to Pig Rig in Wallingford. Pig Rig is a strong wedding caterer contender. La comida es muy bien!

I cooked up some veggies made my Teavanna left over Pumpkin brûlée tea and got a nice bath with my new lush Yoga Bath Bomb and bath oil melt which made my whole body soft as a babies bum. I’m going to snuggle with mi esposo to be and have sweet dreams before the Monday work day!

NAMASTE and stay tuned for Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom!

Red White and Blue (Includes You)


This post is spurred from passion, empathy, anger, fear, hope, faith and patriotism.

This world we live in is not simple. This world we lived in is not pure.  This world we live in is far from perfect. The people of this world all have hearts beating and lungs breathing. The people of this world all have good and bad memories, happy and sad days.  The people of this world need food and water to survive or they will die. We have so many things linking us as one yet it seems that we let the materialistic and small differences tear us a part.

Example 1:Road or Roid Rage: Not Sure on this one

Driving home from work today, there was a close call accident. A car from out of state was trying to get into the exit lane that was totally backed up (got to love rush hour). Two young men from Massachusetts were going pretty fast and almost slammed into the car trying to get into the exit lane. The Mass men proceed to slam the horn over and over while flipping off this older man and screaming f*ckkkkkkkkkk yyyyoooouuuu  and some other obscenities. I got shivers because had this been on a side street and not the highway, I could totally picture this angry young man who was already halfway hanging out the window on the highway, opening his door and confronting this older man. This behavior is crazy to me. Driving to Philly I saw a lot of close call accidents because people always just seem to be angry and in a rush. Why can’t we just be chill with each other?

Example 2: To Bear or not to Bear that is the Question

A mass shooting happens again and instead of allowing some time to mourn it is all about gun reform. Yes, I believe that mental health screening and background checks, references etc. would be added protection for qualifying for a gun.  However, preventing these mass shootings from happens is so much more than just this. The illegal gun market is real and its accessible and organized by the “bad” guys do you think that the bad guys give a crap about legally get a gun? Absolutely not. Mental health is a delicate subject and shouldn’t be taken lightly. So why is it that funds would be cut in this important area. Not only that but if someone has been red flagged for terrorism um that is pretty serious and you obviously aren’t randomly flagging this person, I imagine there is extensive research and investigating otherwise the person wouldn’t be a suspected terrorist. Come on people we need to stop focusing on the temporary band aids to issues and focus on the root cause of this violence.

Example 3: First Generation Hating

I am an Paraguayan-American citizen living in the United States. I was blessed to get adopted in 1989 to a loving family in up state New York and later moved to Connecticut where I began my search for my birth family at age 25. I now have dual citizenship which is great and if you read my post What Nationality Means you will understand that my birth country is very important to me and a big part of my life and who I am and how I have got to the point I am at today.

I attended the Copa America game USA vs Paraguay on Saturday June 11 in Philadelphia, PA. It was a great game and unfortunately, Paraguay just could not score. The US won but I had mixed emotions because as far as I am concerned Red White and Blue are my colors and I have a lot of pride and love for both of my countries. Exiting the venue was quite the experience because everyone was in Red/White/Blue regardless of jersey and it was cool to see the unity. Seeing so many Paraguayans in one vicinity felt invigorating! I was on cloud 9 until I heard someone say Paraguay Sucks. Woohoo U-S-A  U-S-A! Part of me winces a little because unlike my love for the Pittsburgh Steelers, I don’t get offended when rivals hate on Big Ben and make some obscene bathroom sexual assault remarks or poke fun at a loss. However, hearing someone dis my birth country is war and I don’t take it lightly. Of course I just shook my head but internally I was shouting right back. I definitely have learned when to pick my battles in life.

We spent some time in Philly getting food and some cocktails and while walking around we saw a ton of people dressed in soccer jerseys. There were a couple occurrence when men made comments to me like “Paraguay Sucks” or “Go Back to Your Country!” Well sheesh! What if I am in my country? If only these individuals knew my story they would maybe shut their mouths and have a little compassion. Why bother making comments like this not knowing people’s stories because you just never know unless you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

Deciding to purchase Copa America tickets less than a week before a game hours away, was the most spontaneous things I have done in a long time. I literally hit purchase on Ticketmaster and decided I’m going to Philly on Saturday. I had no plan of getting there or accommodations until about Thursday. We ended up staying at an Air BNB in Philly and it was such a comfortable experience. AirBNB is a godsend and I have nothing but kudos to send their way for my stays in Argentina and Philly. Check them out and use my code to save $30 off of your first stay domestically or internationally. As I have aged, I take spontaneous road trips less and less. Attending this Copa America was a once in a life time opportunity and I’m so happy that my fiance supported my decision to go and is such a blessing to have in my life.  Even though I felt bad bailing on Pete because he had a night planed in Hartford with his family I am so glad that I was able to have this road trip  experience with my two close friends. If you fee as though your life is becoming stagnant I highly recommend doing something like this.Despite being exhausted driving two and from Philly, getting annoyed with drunk people hating on my birth country I had a great time in Philly with my two biffles at the Copa.

 

**My advice to my friends reading is always take the time to learn, love and laugh.  Try to think of the bigger picture with the situations above.  If you aren’t seeing results or happiness in your life, you are in control so make a change and continue you on in this sometimes crazy life!

 

 

El Amor Entre de la Madre e Hija


The love and complicated relationship between a mother and daughter has been depicted throughout literature and in movies. Here are some of my favorites: Because I said so, Freaky Friday, Secret Life of Bees and a memorable mother daughter duo from the Golden Girls. Sophia and Dorothy depict a “real” mother-daughter relationship in a fictional show. I used to always watch this show with my mom, sometimes I was too little and naive to understand the jokes and humor but I liked it nonetheless. My mom used to always call me Blanche and it would make me laugh because I liked her name.  However, now that i am an adult the description of Blanche might not be far so off because I would definitely say I grew up being a little too boy crazy.  Right mom?

I digress…

The love of little memories such as this that make us smile and the bond between us and our mothers is far greater than the mind can sometimes comprehend.

The fact that I am living here in the United States and have 3 mothers has always plagued my mind with the anxiety.  The anxiety that one day this reality could potentially cause conflict and stress.  However, I couldn’t have planned for the connection of my 3 worlds to go any smoother than it already has.  When I was in Asuncion back in 2014 my mom got to see Estela again first the first time in 24 years. Estela was my foster mother while I was in Paraguay. I obviously had no memory of my time in Paraguay with my foster family but my mom said that they were very good to me and they had a great deal of sadness when I was adopted and brought to the United States. Estela continued to keep in touch and send me Chipa and Nanduti until I  was 15 years old. Meeting with her was so amazing and I felt so connected to her. Her love is evident and it feels so natural.

Exactly a year ago, I was in Argentina meeting my birth mother for the first time. As I type this post and look back quickly to make sure the previous statement is totally accurate I see the below post as soon as I click on Facebook. Clearly great minds think a like because Maria is also thinking about me today. Since I have finally come to true terms with my adoption and the life that God has given me, I really feel at peace and I am able to appreciate these serendipitous and special instances when I am so connected with another person. The feeling of sharing a thought and wave length with someone is so awesome.  The last two years have been so amazing and I am learning more and more about myself and my passion. I am so excited to start thinking about a time frame for starting a family after the wedding next June 30,2017. I have learned so much thus far in my life and I will gladly pass on all I know to my children.

Maria Edelmira Ocampo Ayala shared a memory.  13 hrs ·

Hoy Ase un año q ese momento nuca me voy a olbidar. con mi familia q amo con toda mi alma
1 Year Ago See Your Memories
       Last but not least,my Momma bear. She is the one that has a heart the size of this world and if it wasn’t for her following her passion to overcome the many obstacle she faced throughout the adoption process, provide for and love a cute little Latina baby such as myself. I would not be here striving for the crazy aspirations and goals I often strive for. I would not have my strong, smart business savvy father inspiring me to get into business and be successful. I would not have my two protective and loving brothers looking out for me. I would not have my two sister-in-laws guiding me and being there to talk and bond. I can’t possibly neglect to mention Bryce and Sammy my two little nephews that pull on my heart strings every time I see or hear them. I would neither have the education I have worked so hard to achieve nor the witty loving fiance that has made the last few years of my life even more meaningful.
        Not only has she my mom helped me acquire and hone the sensitive, loving and caring feelings I have toward my neighbors, friends and family but she has welcomed my other two mothers into our lives with open arms. This I can only imagine is not an easy thing to do for a momma bear so protective of her cub. I believe this to be a huge adjustment and a big sacrifice for her to share me but she is doing it because she knows it is important to me and she loves me enough to put aside her own worries and fears. All of this is proof to me that God has a plan and knows exactly what he is doing so I will continue on the path and do what I can to help others and lead a life of happiness and passion just like my mom.
       The many times growing up I convinced myself that I was unwanted.  However, each day I realize that I couldn’t have been father from the truth.  How many people in this world can say that they have three amazing mom figures in their life that love them as much as Estela, Maria and my mom do? Being a local politician I don’t always like to go on record but I will go on record to say that, “I am pretty damn lucky to have my life and be here in the United States.”
In the words of another American politician,
“All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.” —Abraham Lincoln
We should all hope to be so lucky to understand Mr. Lincoln’s statement.

Reflection


I have been wanting to write a whole lot upon my return from my Journey to the Past. However, it wasn’t as easy as I expected. Yes, the entire trip aside from the travel getting there was very exciting and positive but it was far more overwhelming than I had imagined. Surprisingly I wasn’t super emotional and I didn’t cry half as much as I thought I would. It was such an awesome trip and I am still reeling from it.  The week after I got back I had some intense reverse culture shock and I felt as though my experience was merely a dream. Even today 11/13/2014 almost 3 months later, I am just now starting to really talk about it and compartmentalize my experience. So much has changed in my life in such a short period of time.

– I met my grandfather and aunt (along with her husband and my cousins) who didn’t know I existed.

– I connected on Facebook with my two sisters and I have been talking with both of them.

-I found out/saw a picture of my baby sister (she is 5).

-My birth mother created a facebook page and added me. We have been talking frequently.

– I have an Aunt in Spain.

– A good portion of my family lives in Buenos Aires.

As you can imagine my head is still spinning and I am trying to wrap it around all of this new family. I am already planning a trip to Buenos Aires in May to meet my birth family and go to my boyfriends cousins wedding ceremony. I am also actively working on my book and excited for all that waits ahead because apparently my journey has only just begun!

-A

A Scary and Surprising Day


Have you ever had a day where you go from being pleasantly surprised to anxious and scared? Well if you haven’t let me tell you it is not enjoyable. It’s crazy how you can go from being on cloud 9 to feeling like you world is about to be turned upside down by the worst news you could ever possibly get.

I found out that my lawyer friend Daniel who has been my guardian angel on this journey to reconnecting with Paraguay and finding answers to my past, had a long talk with my sister. Drum roll please……. my birth mother has confirmed that I am her daughter and she is interested in meeting me. I also found out I have a total of 5 younger siblings.  I have always wished for a sister and now I found out I have multiple and they want to meet me. It is pretty overwhelming yesterday when I found out it brought tears to my eyes at work and I had to step out of the room to get fresh air. It’s all so overwhelming because I have been dreaming of having a sister since I was a little girl and now I find out at age 25 that I have a total of 5 younger siblings. Three of those siblings are girls. Today I re-read the message from Daniel and discovered he was able to connect my sister with her father. We met her father Rosalino in Asuncion when we were on the hunt to find answers.  He has not seen Reychel in 17 years and now they are FB friends… AHHH the power of the internet. I also found my other sister on Facebook and I think my brothers as well. It is quite eerie to look at a photo in facebook of someone you have never met or known and see extreme resemblances.  I have gone my whole life adjusting to not looking like my family to having a HUGE family that looks just like me it is all so crazy but in a good way.

Now I am going to move onto the scary part. I previously wrote about the Lady Woes and last week I had a missed call from the gyno but no message. I was a little nervous but I had figured that if they needed me and it was an emergency they would lave a message or call me back.  I just forgot about it and figured they just realized I owed a co-pa or something. Then today my dad stopped over to my office to bring me some mail. My hard dropped as I saw the return address stamp for CT Obgyn I immediately broke into a sweat and tried to maintain my calm demeanor as I spoke to my dad about my ROTH IRA. Once he left I ripped open the envelope like a mad women expecting to see sorry your pap smear is not good and you have cervical cancer. instead it said please call the office at your earliest convenience in regards to your test results.  I immediately called and waited for a good 10 minutes before anyone answered so I hung up and tried again. A woman answered and I told her what was going on and she said that my doctor was in and she would page her and within the next 35 minutes before 5 they would call me back with the results.  I spent the next half hour not being very productive at work and stressing about THE PHONE CALL.. 5 O’ Clock rolled by and there was NO call to my cell phone. So I angrily called back and to my dismay the office was closed so I proceeded to tell the emergency line girl my story. She paged the office and they told her to tell me to call back in the morning. At this point I began to lose my cool ALOT. I said what is the purpose of you answering the phone if you can’t help me. I said as a woman you must understand that if you hear that a doctor needs to discuss test results with you it can be really scary and she agreed. So I said do whatever you must to get me on the phone with a doctor. Shortly after my rampage I got a call from the doctor on call. Unfortunately, the all didn’t occur until I had already left the office so that window of time that I was stewing over the worst possible scenarios at my desk was not very productive.  I spoke with the doctor and he calmed me down and said that there was an irregular series of cells; however, they deemed it to be non-threatening and I will just have to get a pap smear next year instead of skipping 2 years which is fine with me.  Man was I scared.

This goes to show the importance of not stressing oneself out until there is reason to be stressed out. I was totally bent out of shape for nothing. This also goes to show how essential it is to appreciate the cloud 9 moments because things can quickly change.  Now that I know everything health wise seems to be okay. I was able to enjoy myself and relax. Tonight marks the 6 year anniversary of my boyfriend and I and things were low key we will be celebrating with each other on Friday. After we went to the gym I was able to connect with two of my sisters and talked to them both for about a hour and a half. I found out that my birth family seems to be really excited to meet me and it is such a relief. I have so many feelings ricocheting through my mind it’s unreal. Here is a list of some:

I feel shell-shocked, anxious, excited, nervous, happy, like I’m dreaming, a state of disbelief, Amazed.  The feelings that I have at this moment are indescribable and I think my sister feels the same she said she is amazed but excited to have a big sister. She also told me that my mother is happy and excited to meet me. This is all to much I need to get some sleep to process this all. I can’t believe I have a baby sister that is 5 years old. I’m the oldest child and there is a 20 year age gap.

 

 

Asuncion: My Birth Place


We finally arrive after many obstacles and frustration. It took us almost two entire days to get here and my patience was running very thin. I wigged out at least 3 times and had about 4 melt downs which resulted in many tears and curse words not particularly directed at an individual more so at Delta. The flight from JFK to Miami has been painless and we have a quick connection so we were concerned about missing the next flight thus arriving to Asuncion another day later. Once we landed in Miami we went to the desk to confirm that our luggage was en route to go directly to Asuncion and a 3rd gentleman since this trip started confirmed that it was the case. Unfortunately, the flight is not on schedule. Looking at the monitoring and reading DELAYED made me want to be sick and yes I cried at one point because I am so tired and feel defeated.

Instead of the second leg being quick and short we ended up waiting an extra 3 hours for the mechanical issue to be fixed. Shortly after 2am we begin to board the plane. Then the next day around 11am we arrived in Asuncion. Not going to lie, my anxiety is high and I have no idea what to expect from this journey. I am trying to have NO expectations because there can be so many results.

Once we exited the plane we headed to the baggage claim only to discover our luggage is MIA. Angrily we headed toward customs and walked toward the exit. Waiting at the entrance of the airport is the former Ambassador of Paraguay and his wife, Juan Carlos, his wife and daughter (my foster brother) and Daniel Varela and his German friend. Daniel is the lawyer that I have been working with to investigate my adoption and try and find family members and answers. Walking outside of the doors and feeling the sunshine on my face I smiled and knew that I already like this place and feel at home. The tropical vegetation makes me feel like I am on vacation. There are many flags lined up in a row in front of the airport looking dignified and beautiful. I love the Paraguayan flag, it is the only 2 sided flag in the world! We left with Juan Carlos and he gives us a tour of Asuncion on our way to the Parana  Silvio Pettirossi International Airport hotel. New Asuncion was very modern and new with lots of new construction. The city has a European feel with a splash of Havana and Paraguayan culture. There is a lot of traffic and it seems as though everybody has motorcycles. I’m looking forward to seeing the city and trying some food! I think I like it here and I’m so excited to see what this week has in store for me.

“A nation’s culture resides in the hearts and in the soul of its people.”- Gandhi

Mission Delayed


As you all know I have been counting down to this experience and I’m
not sure if you have heard of Murphy and his stupid law but it sucks. We arrived to JFK and the flight was on schedule but after waiting a few hours there was a delay not just a few hours but until 7 am. The announcement was proceeded by an uproar of people primarily Brazilians not speaking much if any english. We had a long night and now we are sleeping on the floor at the airport . I am really sad we might be arriving a day later because that will cut into my time. Say a prayer that we have some good luck thrown our way because right now im vert upset, exhausted and annoyed. It can only get better I hope.

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20 Days to Go!


20 Days to go and I am still in a state of disbelief as my trip creeps closer and closer. I have so many thoughts and emotions pouring over my heart and soul. This is so exciting. I ordered the camera equipment I need the only thing I am waiting on is ordering the digital audio recorder so I can have crisp sound for the documentary. I have my citizenship and passport and my mom has her Visa. I am just waiting on Pete to get his Visa squared away and we will be all set. We have decided to book the hotel when we arrive because multiple people had suggested that to us and my mom and I are going to have a date one day and go get some gifts for the people we will be visiting since that is a traditional thing to do. Today was very busy at work but I let my mind drift on my lunch break to my Paraguay trip and ironing out an itinerary. I still cannot believe I am the oldest of 4 siblings. I wonder what they are all like and if I will ever get the opportunity to meet them. There is so much uncertainty with this trip but I have such high hopes that I will find the solace and closure that I need to start this new chapter of my life.

This journey is huge and I’m so blessed to have all the support from my family and friends that are helping me make this happen. Buenos Noches mis amigos!Hasta Manana!

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” ― Ernest Hemingway

Dual Citizenship


Tomorrow I will be traveling to Washington DC with my awesome parents to get citizenship to Paraguay. This is usually harder to accomplish but I believe things happen for a reason and I met the Paraguay Ambassador last September and he was intrigued by my story and goal so he decided to help me. Voila in less than 24 hours I will be closer to my past and journey. This is a huge deal for me. Ive always felt so detached from mu country but now I will legally be a Paraguayan again. Look out for this adventure continued tomorrow. We leave in a few hours!!!

Gods speed!

“Those that wander are not necessarily lost”

Mission: $1700 from 1700 People


As you all know saving up and recycling bottles didn’t accumulate as much as I needed. However, I have come to the conclusion that I have loving friends, family and community members surrounding me each and every day who most likely wouldn’t mind lending or giving me $1.00 to reach a monumental goal in my life. For those of you who know me really well, this could be a bigger deal than my wedding and you all know I’ve been dreaming of my wedding day since I was a chica pequena. Sorry future husband! Therefore, I have deemed my Mission Nearly Accomplished to the $1,700 from 1,700 People Project in order to get to Paraguay next month. By July 30th, I plan on trying to acquire $1.00 from 1,700 people. Some obstacles I face:

1.) I don’t mind asking for money for other causes for other people but I hate asking for my own causes.

2.) Do I really know 1,700 people( I did my research and throughout my networks I most definitely do and I continue to meet new people each and everyday)

3.) I would have to get $57.00 per day from 57 people to achieve this goal.

4.) Getting media to understand the importance of my story and mission.

5.) Talking to 57 people a day along with fulfilling my other daily responsibilities.

CALL TO ACTION:

So this is my request everyone if you are able to give or lend me $1.00 to make this trip happen I would be forever grateful.  I believe in paying it forward and once I am able to take this journey I plan on giving back as much as I can through my book and future documentary. You can message me for my address or if you are local we can meet up and I can give you a big hug for supporting my mission. Si se puede!

“Donors don’t give to institutions. They invest in ideas and people in whom they believe.”
-G.T. Smith

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